WeCareWeListenWeHelp - Addiction Cycle

ADDICTION CYCLE

When you are upset, angry, sad, frustrated, depressed, hopeless, desperate, rejected, lost, betrayed, hurt, annoyed, vulnerable do you turn to chocolate, alcohol, coffee, sex, food, cigarettes, drugs, work, substances, shopping, gambling, high risk activities, hurting yourself, emotional outburst, partying, distancing yourself, emotional withdrawal, abuse of self, abuse of others for relief, comfort, forgetting, remembering, numbing, stimulating and then regret it?

All of us have physical and emotional addictions of some sort inside us. When we examine our whole life we can see what these things are. They play out in our lives, over and over again. They literally play out there for us. Our lives are a playing out of what is stored within the subconscious mind from our past experiences.

William Glasser MD, in his book Positive Addictions, says: “Very few of us realise how much we choose the misery in our lives. Even when we do, we still go ahead with the disastrous choice because we are convinced that we don’t have the strength to choose better.”

Have you ever wondered if there is a way out? Is there a way out of the vicious cycle of:

I’ll ... when ...

Oh damn, I did it again!

I’ll never be able to ...

You choose who you are, mostly unconsciously. You can choose to be different. It is important to be aware of what is going on. Here are the steps of the addiction cycle:

Addiction
The stresses of life begin to build so I reach for my substances of choice: food, booze, drugs, etc. I feel good because the stress is relieved. I have, sometimes literally, anesthetized myself, and, momentarily, I have calmed the craving.

Depression
But I feel awful because I have just eaten a ton (fallen off the wagon, gotten stoned out of my mind, etc.) So I beat myself until I’m convinced I’ve got a grip on it.

Idealisation
I see what happened. It will never happen again. I have a program. I’ve got it right this time. I’m going to do better, in fact Ill be perfect.

Frustration
And then the stress begins to build again. I miss my addiction. I miss the temporary high it gives me. I miss the relief. I stop thinking straight. My focus narrows. If I can have one more hit, just one more time. Just this once. Please, please.

Rationalisation
This is when we make all the excuses to drop our program, our plan. We come up with dozens of excuses (none of which are rational) to make an exception.
You have been doing so good. One cigarette won’t hurt.
Look, today was an especially hard day. I’ve got to have a joint.
Maybe, instead of completely giving up alcohol, I can just have one drink a day.
I have been managing with one drink a day OK, no harm in making it two drinks.
I have successfully stopped for 3 weeks, (3 days, 3 hours), I can stop again any time.
One pizza won’t hurt.
I’m not really an addict.
I can give up any time.
I will not put money on the table, I will just watch others gamble. I will go in for a bit.

Addiction
I reach for my substances of choice: food, booze, drugs, etc. I feel good because the stress is relieved. I have, sometimes literally, anesthetized myself, and, momentarily, I have calmed the craving.

Whilst I am talking here about substances, this cycle equally applies to physical violence (both the perpetrator and the victim), sexual abuse, emotional abuse and the like.

It seems this cycle is impossible to break out of. Yet there is a way. There is an exit door. This door is in the “Rationalisation” stage. At this stage

You notice the irrational barrage of arguments and counter arguments.

You notice where it is heading.

You draw your boundaries and say No to the addict inside you (just like you would to a four year old who was insisting on drinking a bottle of bleach, throwing horrendous tantrums until s/he had her/his way. You would not give to her/him no matter what. Would you? ) Same applies here. You simply do not give in to the emotional, irrational side of you who is screaming, yelling, throwing a tantrum.

You reward yourself in other ways.

Remember there is always a way out.

There are lots of help available out there to deal with addictions. There are twelve step programs: Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Co-dependants Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Over Eaters Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous… If you prefer one on one help, your available options are Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy, Counselling. There are telephone counselling services available also free of charge like Lifeline. If you are receiver of abuse and want out you can call government bodies or the Police.

If you like our help with face to face counselling or hypnotherapy, telephone consultations or email coaching, contact us now on info@wecarewelistenwehelp.com