WeCareWeListenWeHelp - Enery Suckers Energy Showers

ENERGY SUCKERS, ENERGY SHOWERS AND YOUR INTERNAL COMPASS

You see him, you say quietly inside your head: “there he is again”. You want to run away. You want to hide. You want to avoid the contact. You can’t. You are cornered in the cafeteria next to the coffee machine. He starts talking and you immediately feel drained of energy. You feel tired and lethargic. Doom and gloom surrounds you. You try to think of a polite excuse to get away. You can’t find one. He fires one dramatic attack after another. He talks about the economy, politics, people at work, his family, the traffic, the stock market, his last successful venture, how much he made here and there, how pathetic the rest of the world is. He talks and talks and talks.

You see her, and you know it is downhill from here. She comes over like you are a lifesaver. You want to hide, you want to disappear or run away. You can’t. She throws one drama after another at you. She talks about the economy, her family, her friends, the dramas, the conflicts, the challenges. She tells you how she is handling it (or not handling it). Either way you feel like you are now carrying a sack of potatoes on your back, worse still you feel helpless in your ability to deal with the situation at hand. She talks and talks and talks. She tells you how good she is how bad the others are, how wonderful life would be if they behaved a certain way.

What is common between these two scenarios? You are dealing with an energy sucker. They suck your energy. They are good at it. They have so many ways of doing it. They bombard you with bad news, situations that nobody can do anything about. Stock market crashes, global warming, greedy corporations, bank fees, interest rates, political instability in the Middle East. They escalate the negative consequences of the situation to no end. They want you to feel the misery. Alternatively they may spin a “poor me” story. People are doing so many bad things to them and they are being treated so unfairly. No one respects them or listens to them. If you are foolish enough to offer a solution or a remedy, you will be bombarded with “Yes but”s or “don’t you understand”s. Another strategy they may use is to boast how good they are. They have had the luckiest break. They had had a massive pay rise, stock market success, business venture. Their son or daughter got into Harvard or got a gold medal at Olympics. They had a birdie at gold the other day. They have got to coolest car, had the most entertaining party (with “A List” guests of course), champagne poured like crazy, so many good and profitable connections were made. They now have three more business ventures and seven Internet businesses. They are making seven figure profits every day and they do not have to lift a finger. In fact they are buying their third yacht so they can sail to their private island in Greece. Their French chef has come up with this incredible recipe for Duck à l'Orange and The Sultan of Brunei just loved when they were dining together last week.

Energy suckers. They suck your energy so they can feel good. They are addicted to it so they keep sucking.

Then there is the opposite. You see him. And you say (maybe not so quietly): “Thank goodness”. You almost run to him. You immediately feel good in his presence. It does not matter who does the talking. There is an aura about him. He pays attention to what you say, nods and “umm”s at the right places. You get that he understands you. He is interested in what you are sharing and when he speaks it is not to steal your thunder but to add to your story and experience or to show another complimentary perspective. You want to conversation and the occasion to go on forever. When you part, you experience a stretching of an energy bond, a kinship. You call him a friendly soul.

You see her, and your heart opens up. You say: “just the person I needed”. This is not romantic connection. She is a person who welcomes you to her field of energy. She may smile or frown. She may talk or listen. Either way you feel good in her presence. You may share good news or bad ones. There is a validation, a sense of respect. You get that she understands you. She is interested in what you are sharing. When she speaks it is interesting, complimentary and you get a sense of elation listening. You want the conversation and the occasion to go on and on. When you part you feel a bond that continues to connect you. You call her a friendly soul.

What is common between these two scenarios? You are experiencing an energy shower. This person is so grounded, so full of energy, grace, wisdom, kindness, understanding that you feel cleaned up, refreshed, filled up, energised by just being with them. You get a more optimistic perspective on things. Your serotonin (feel good hormone) levels are higher.

Do you want less “energy sucking” in your life? Do you want more energy showers in your life? How can you tell the difference? How do you know, as quickly as possible, which one these groups does a person belong? There are two ways. First method takes a little time and some observation skills. It is more of a mental process. You look for consistency between their thoughts, words and actions. Their words give you an indication of their thoughts. Do their actions line up with their words? Do they walk their talk? Do they come good on what they say? Or is it just hot air? Do they make promises they do not keep?

The second method is more of a gut feel, something you can develop over time. When you meet an energy sucker there is often an inner knowing and you experience a closing down feeling. Maybe you decide to be a bit careful, or you get a strange feeling. Maybe you just do not feel right but can not explain this feeling. This is your inner compass. When you are meet one who does shower you with energy, you feel an immediate opening up, a sense of relief, like you are coming home, like you have known this person for a long time. This is your inner compass. While this compass may not be 100% accurate and may need fine tuning by you, it is a reliable gauge. Using it is like learning a new language. The more you use it, the better you get at it.

One final word. You may not be able to pick and choose all the time. You may need to be with energy suckers due to unavoidable circumstances. You may be deprived, for a while, from those who shower you with energy. However if you are aware who you are with, then you can be prepared to be careful how much or how little you join in and how much to protect yourself.

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