HABITS

Let’s start with a story (from an unknown source) that demonstrates how habits may be formed.

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.

Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

A habit is "an involuntary pattern of behaviour acquired by frequent repetition." A habit consists of three parts: 

• Knowledge
• Skill
• Desire

The knowledge is what to do and why, the skill is how to do it, and the desire is wanting to do it. All three components must be developed to make habits.

When we understand what habits are, then we are in a better position to keep the ones we like and change or replace the ones we do not like. It is important not to confuse habits with addictions.  Addictions may start as habits but tend to get a stronghold on us which may require a medical or therapeutic intervention.  Habits on the other hand tend to be easier to handle.

Take action:
Do you have a habit that annoys you?  Do you often eat more than you would like?  Can’t get up early enough? Always late? Always early?  Make promises and do not keep them?  Avoid your to do list? Don’t have a to do list?  Don’t take time out for yourself?  Find it difficult to receive?… Do the exercise below, it will take a quarter of an hour.  The results will surprise you.

1. Select one habit or behaviour of yours that annoys you.  Write it down.
2. Say the following words out loud: “I am letting go of all my judgements and my opinions I have about _____.” (habit/behaviour)
3. Ask yourself: where did habit/behaviour come from? Write down the answer.
4. Referring to the answer you just wrote down. Ask again, where did this come from?
5. Keep going for 10 minutes or until you come across something that has some emotional charge.
6. Ask yourself the question: “Now I know more. Am I willing to change or let go of this habit or behaviour?”
7. Accept your answer, whatever it is.  You know more and you are more at choice.  It is as simple as that.

Remember also the value of working with a professional in making changes in your behaviours and habits.  Our email is info@wecarewelistenwehelp.com

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